To do before/during/after pregnancy/child-birth

Before/During pregnancy

1. Take good care of the mom's health and emotional/nutritional needs
2. Sign-up with a good OBGYN (ideally, this needs to be done even before pregnancy)
3. Get familiarized on all the tests that need to be done during the pregnancy (your OBGYN is the best source of this info)
4. Sign-up with a good hospital (many times, the choice of OBGYN dictates the hospital). Pre-register at the hospital
5. Sign-up for child-birth related classes (at the hospital)
6. Start cleaning the home to make space for the baby's arrival
7. Shop for baby related items. Must have essentials follow.
1. Travel System/Stroller/Car Seat
2. New born clothes
3. Bassinet/Crib
4. Diapers
5. Baby wash
6. Anything else?
8. Parents/in-laws: Not sure about the benefits of calling them over for first baby. But, just as an fyi, say worst case, they don't get a visa or can't travel, it is totally doable without parents. Nurses and doctors are really great. You can get food from some Indian catering service if such exist in your city.
9. Finalize visa/travel plans for parents or parents-in-laws
10. Help out with the planning of the baby shower
11. Narrow down on the name for the baby
12. Select a pediatrician
13. Create a birth plan (check our www.babycenter.com/birthplan )
14. Set up a baby registry
15. Consider getting life insurance and creating a will
16. Understand the maternity/paternity leave options
17. Consider buying a camera/camcorder; be familiar with all its features/options
18. Arrange a demo/inspection/installation of the car seat (your local police/fire department can do this)
19. Update your e-mail/address/phone number list to send out the birth announcements
20. Pack for the hospital; give a set of home-keys to a friend; keep gas tank filled up (towards the end of the pregnancy)
21. Long-term disability benefits (LTD): Remember to sign-up for LTD (before/during pregnancy) if this option is available.
22. Sign up for tour of hospital early. They suggest coming in the 8th or 9th month, but sometimes the tours fill up fast.
23. Hospital parking: They cover this briefly during the hospital tour, but it is worth it to once walk around yourself, and get to know where to park during the day. Where you have to park in the night, and what time the underground parking garage (if any) opens and closes.
24. Be sure to know which hospital entrance and elevators to use during night. not all entrances are open.
25. Food: hospital food is healthy but unappealing. have friends bring simple light food if possible, after delivery.
26. Nurses: The nurses are amazing. You will be so thankful to them you'll want to get them a small gift or something. Plan ahead. The shop in the hospital is a rip-off
27. Doula – check out the various options & make a decision
28. Baby shower - plan for some good games/activities; it is hard to get people to sportingly participate in games.
29. C-section : read up on this without telling your wife. If, worst case, it comes to a point where doctor says have to go for that, then do not panic. Your wife might already have been in labor for 12-14 hours, and will look to you for cues and support. Be calm, and do not pester doctor asking if there is any way to avoid c-section. They will not suggest it unless it is needed.
30. More about C section. Do your reading and research. Be familiar with medical reasons and terms. If possible take child birth class. It helped me a lot. My wife was in labor for 20 hrs and doctor recommended C section. Me and my wife wanted to try natural birth. We asked the doctor (not our OB/GYN but doctor in charge of labor room in the hospital) to wait few more hours. I called OB/GYN at 2.30 AM and discussed it personally. Our OB/GYN felt there is no harm waiting another few hours (BTW discuss your preference with your OB/GYN before labor, that way she/he knows what you guys prefer). within 30 mins labor started progressing again and within 2 hrs I had my boy. So don't always go with C section at first mention of it (unless you and your wife want it). Bottom line is do your research and studies and be prepare to take decisions in split of second. Your OB/GYN is your friend and advisor, keep her or him in very close loop.
31. A good weekly planner is at http://assets.babycenter.com/ims/Marketing/weeklyplanner.pdf
32. Umbilical cord blood collection - decide to go for it or not. We went with CBR (check out this link for a great discount)
33. Babycenter.com: you'll get more info that you want there to all questions you have asked here! join the discussion group for your wife's due date month...
34. Restaurants - store phone numbers of restaurants near the hospital in your cell phone.
35. Alternate route to hospital : good to know ahead of time in case of traffic jams etc.
36. Visit the medicine aisle at your local drugstore before baby is born: The range of medicines, brands, kinds for infants is very confusing. Understand tylenol/motrin/advil, suspension liquid, fever reliever, pain reliever, decongestant. Knowing a bit about these before you visit the store for that medicine at 3 am in the night is priceless.
37. Take lot of pictures during the pregnancy

After the baby is born

1. Take care of the mom's & baby's health
2. Add baby to the medical/life Insurance Plans
3. Apply for baby's SSN
4. Get baby's birth certificate
5. Get baby's US Passport
6. Get PIO Card/Visa for India
7. Take good rest & keep a good sense of humor
8. Insurance: You have about 30 days after birth to add baby to your medical insurance.
9. HSA: think about maxing out your HSA contribution (great tax saving) for your deductible. Usually you have one month after the birth to change your insurance plan and HSA contribution. By end of the month you will have fair idea how much you will be paying out of your pocket. Make sure you increase your contribution to HSA to cover that. It saved me good amount of tax.
10. SSN: hospital gives you some forms to fill up, and they send that themselves to SSN office, registrar of births.
11. In the paperwork hospital gives you, request for 2 or more birth certificates. Getting extra original birth certificates later is a hassle.
12. Baby's nutrition/feeding - hospital has very helpful support for this. They(lactation consultants) also come home if needed. how to take care of baby - you and your wife will be pros in 2-3 weeks, till then, a close friend or two can show you how to handle the baby. Or when you take baby to pediatrician for 1 week, 2 week, 4 week, checkups, they'll show you how to massage etc.
13. Just after delivery: Mom gets to hold and see baby for a few minutes, then they take the baby away to nursery for cleaning and apgar tests etc. Mom gets wheeled to recovery room. At this point, you'll have to choose which one to go with .
14. Visitors after baby comes home : be very frank with visitors and don't allow young kids near the baby. Especially, if the baby is born during or just after the flu season.
15. Take lot of pictures/videos during the pregnancy, in the hospital, after birth, and also at home. Pictures of all 3 of you will be rare. Have each guest to your home click some of the 3 of you(mom, dad and baby).

Also, check out a related discussion at http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/f53/things-do-during-pregnancy-after-baby-born-9265/